Relationships 101: Asking Questions

For several months I have been pondering the idea of asking questions, and seeing how this idea fits into relationships. My conclusion is that asking questions can and should be part of the foundation of healthy relationships. Questions allow us to deepen relationships by knowing more about the other person in the relationship than we previously did and also can sometimes diffuse an arguement when the right questions are asked in the right way. Far too often many people would say that the cause of an arguement is miscommunication. This can easily be remedied by one person asking the other a question of clarification if the instructions or expectations given to them are unclear.

I strongly believe my generation has lost, or atleast started to lose, the ability to ask important questions in relationships. Both parties in a dating relationship should know eachother well enough that there are few surprises later in life if these two individuals get serious about the relationship and decide to make their bond a life-long committment. Questions aid in this process by allowing both parties to engage in open communication and are a good gauge as to how the other person’s brain functions.

Anyone with young children can testify that small children understand the concept of asking questions. Even at a young age human beings are interested in how or why something happens and I feel it is a shame that our society, as each person gets older, has seemingly lost this interest when it comes to relationships. Society tells us to be tolerant of everyone, and while that is a good idea that should be followed, we should not let our tolerance turn into fear of offending someone and cause us to refrain from asking questions to better the situation we might be in. The right question conveyed in the right way should not offend the person being asked.

Also, questions can show someone you care for them. Most businesses you go to these days greet you with something along the lines of “Hello, how can I help you today?”. Sadly our society has become so self-centered that in my opinion you are more likely to hear that phrase from a business who is looking to get money from you rather than from a friend, family member, or coworker who has said to have your best interest in mind. There are several people in my life who demonstrate their love and concern for me, and for that I am grateful. This world needs many more people like them who show genuine care and concern for others and who arent just living in their own isolated bubble world. Questions are a great way to reach out to someone to show the love of Christ from you to them. Relationships can and are built from them, trust can be gained from them, and God’s Kingdom can be better because of them.

My question to you is: Are you asking questions enough? What questions are you asking? Are the questions you are asking making your relationships (both earthly and spiritual) better or worse?

Think about these things as you go about your daily activities.

In Him

~Bryan

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